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Our Newest Adventure

I admit I’ve been AWFUL at posting on our website, or updating any part of it at all. We’ve just had so much happening in the last couple years and it gets pretty overwhelming. I try to keep current snippets of our lives on our Facebook and Instagram pages but the website definitely has taken a back seat. I apologize.

Despite all the ups and downs, we’ve got some really exciting news that is quickly shaping the way all of our future adventures will unfold!

We have another little coconut on the way!

This time, a baby girl, and she will arrive sometime in June 💕 Her guess date is actually on Brig’s 3rd birthday – June 13 – so whenever she does decide to arrive, they will be almost exactly 3 years apart in age! She appears to be perfectly healthy and I can already feel her kicking away. We’re over the moon!

Just yesterday marked 21 weeks. More than half way! It’s taken a long time to shed some of the fear and allow myself to truly be excited. To let this feel real.

A good friend once posted of their similar experience and that post helped me when I needed it most, more than I ever thought it could. So I decided that I wanted to share our experience too, just in case it helps even one person, someday.

Our journey

A year and a half after Brig was born we still were not able to get pregnant again. I was losing hope and began wondering if it would ever happen. I learned a lot about infertility during that time and I couldn’t help but hear that faint, terrifying sound of my biological clock ticking away even though I knew there was still plenty of time. I was 35. Eventually, that positive test did come along and I was even more elated than I was the first time!

I got to see baby during a dating ultrasound in the States and I immediately recognized that perfect little flicker of a heartbeat on the screen. I was diagnosed with a subchoronic hemorrhage (SCH), though the midwife reassured me it would most likely resolve itself eventually. It didn’t, and I’ll never know if it made any difference or not.

Nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened next. At 12 weeks, at the very end of the first trimester and just 3 days before my 36th birthday, we had a miscarriage. It was the middle of the night. I’ll spare the details here but I’m happy to talk about it privately if it might help anyone reading this. Talking to other women that had been though this before is what helped me when I needed it most.

I got to hold that tiny baby in my hand while my heart was simultaneously shattered into a million pieces and I had to figure out how to process the idea that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I think deep down I knew something wasn’t right all along. I had felt amazing during the whole pregnancy. No morning sickness or loss of energy at all though I was definitely already showing a decent size baby bump as many second pregnancies do.

By that point we had shared the news of our pregnancy with family and close friends and it actually helped to talk about our loss when we then had to tell all those people we weren’t pregnant anymore. Somehow, life went on. We had endured so many losses and major life changes over the course of two years that everything was just a blur for me. A big hazy cloud. The only thing that kept me looking forward was our beautiful and amazing baby boy who was turning 2.

It took 6 months and a lot of prayers and hope but we finally got pregnant for the third time. Even though this time everything has felt different, it’s been hard to let my guard down and feel the joy I so want to feel. I absolutely loved being pregnant with Brig and I feel like that joy has been stolen from me this time. It’s taken almost half the pregnancy but I think it’s finally coming back. We are 21 weeks and although there’s always a chance of something going wrong, I finally feel like this is real. Our rainbow baby is on her way! 🌈 (For those of you that have never heard that term before, a rainbow baby is a child born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, reminding us of the rainbow after the storm and bringing hope of what’s to come.)

I have been terribly nauseous all day everyday from 3-17 weeks and Brig has been such a good kid through it all. I’m still pretty low on energy but the nausea has passed and I finally able to function during the day and not feel miserable. My mom was just here for two weeks to visit Brig and that helped a lot. I’m just now getting some projects knocked off the list as my nesting kicks into high gear. Let the fun begin!!

Choosing a name

We’ve had a girl name picked out since before we knew Brig was a boy. His name didn’t get decided on until he was two days old 🙈. There’s always a chance I could change my mind, but for now we have decided to name her Waverly 💕 

your story

Do you have a similar story about pregnancy/infant/child loss or infertility? Willing to share? Please help me make it known just how common it is. I wish it wasn’t such a taboo topic. It really is unbelievable just how common it is.

I respect that everyone grieves and heals in their own way and it’s perfectly okay to keep it private too. But when we do decide to speak out and share our own story, I’ve personally witnessed how much it can help and how much peace it can bring to those of us going through something similar. We all have a story. We all go through the hard stuff, in different forms. That’s life. But sometimes it feels just a little easier when we are reminded that we’re not alone and there really is someone else that understands.

Our Betsy Girl

It’s REALLY hard for me to deal with losses and the last few years have shown me almost more than I can handle. A couple weeks ago marked one year since my grandmother passed away. That’s a whole other mess of emotions.

Something I haven’t been ready to post about yet is that it’s been three months since we had to say goodbye to our sweet Betsy girl.

She was 12. Her back legs didn’t work at all anymore and she had a few other issues. too.  It just wasn’t fair to keep her with us any longer. It was time.

Last week our good friend Jen from Three Sheets shared a video from two years ago that had Betsy swimming and running on the beach. Of course, I totally lost it. I’ve buried the pain of losing her just to be able to get through the day and stay strong for Brig. I’ve still got a lot of grieving to do for Betsy (and more losses than this) but it helps to finally talk about it.

Betsy and Gunner both loved running on the beaches and swimming in the warm Caribbean sea. They both got to spend the last few years of their lives with us down here on the boat. The Virgin Islands are home to us and White Bay BVI is one of the most iconic and memorable places around – where that video was taken. I shared Jen’s video on our Facebook Page and it’s exactly how I remember both of our dogs – wherever they are now, for all eternity. It’s such a perfect vision of exactly what they would be doing and I just had to share it with you all.

There are SO many photos of Betsy that I couldn’t possibly post them all here. Literally, over 500. They are all over my computer, phone, these blog posts, and all over our Facebook and Instagram pages but I’ve tried to gather my favorites. She was the sweetest, most kind and gentle dog I’ve ever met. She got to meet a LOT of people over her 12 years, and traveled a LOT of miles. Nearly everyone she met wanted to take her home. The world would be such a better place if everyone had a dog like Betsy. People that were allergic to dogs cuddled with her. People that were afraid of dogs held her. People that missed their own special animals let her lick them all over. She was amazing.

The one thing I’m most grateful for is that Betsy finally got to have a little boy of her very own. Brig was still too little to understand when she was gone, and she couldn’t get around very well this past year, but she did get to run and play with Brig on the beach a few times. He loved her and she loved him. She loved all kids and I’m SO glad she got to finally have her very own.

Thank you to EVERYONE that helped make Betsy such a good, happy dog <3 We will remember her always!!!

11.15.06 ~ 4.8.19

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The Best of Intentions

As much as I want to write a new blog post every day, it just never happens. I have such high hopes for my time management. I dream about the times when I used to be able to sit down with my laptop and get lost in my thoughts.  The truth is that Brig gets busier with each passing day and there’s always something more pressing that needs to get done. To be fair, we have literally been on the move for more than a year.  Ever since Hurricane Irma hit, we’ve been traveling and bouncing around from house to house by plane, by car, and by boat almost nonstop.  Unexpected events pop up at every turn. As if a 17 month old baby wasn’t enough to keep me from blogging!

We finally got back to our boat about a month ago after spending some more time in the states for my grandmother’s memorial and to allow us to be out of the Caribbean during Hurricane Season. We began sailing North to get back to St Thomas but weather has kept us longer than planned. We’re still currently stuck in St Kitts for just a couple more days. On Monday we hope we can make the final 24 hour push to get back home and FINALLY get settled. It feels like its been SUCH a long time coming.  We can finally find a routine and nave a little normalcy in our lives.  I think I need it more than anyone.  Brig has been such a trooper through it all and I’m so proud of him.

Peter will go back to work full time for Paradise Yacht Management in St Thomas managing the maintenance on their fleet of charter catamarans.  It’s a great company and Peter really enjoys working with those guys so he’s excited to get back too.  I will be staying home with Brig and I HOPE to get some projects of my own finally taken care of.  There are SO many sewing projects on my list and I have tons of blog content I want to finally get posted. Brig is in the process of transitioning from two naps down to one so I hope I can finally get a solid chunk of time to myself during the day.  Am I just dreaming again? Maybe. We shall see.

I know there are many of you that only visit the website and blog but don’t “do” social media. Please remember to check out our Instagram and Facebook pages even if you don’t have accounts there.  You can still see our public photos. I post updates about our adventures on those sites WAY more often than I post here right now so head on over to get your dose of coconuts :)

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Sailing South and other thoughts

Here we are smack in the middle of July and well into the Atlantic Hurricane season – a time of year where we should’ve already been heading South. Peter and I discussed our options months ago and we both agreed that moving South to Grenada in June was the best thing for us this year. We’ve already spent two Hurricane seasons down there and we absolutely love it. It may sound like a simple plan to pick up anchor and set sail but things haven’t exactly unfolded the way we had hoped.

We knew we bought a project boat. We knew she needed some TLC to bring her back to the condition we knew she was once in. What we didn’t know was just how many other unforeseen repairs and upgrades would be needed along the way. The money we got back from our insurance claim on our last boat helped us to buy this one and get back on our feet but the cost of additional repairs has far exceeded what we had left over. Because of this, Peter has been working pretty much full time here in St Thomas in order to pay for the extra parts we needed and for our weekly groceries. I thought BVI was expensive but honestly I don’t see the food here on St Thomas being much cheaper at all. With a paycheck-to-paycheck budget and with Peter gone all day at work it’s been very difficult to get everything done to the boat that we want or need to do.

We thought we were finally ready to go. With three days left in the month of June we left our favorite spot in Christmas Cove and pointed off toward Grenada. The weather window was promising and our friends Rob and Deb from Cosmos Mariner were buddy-boating down with us. About two hours into the passage South when the seas started building, Peter noticed a significant amount of saltwater pouring into the vberth. How much you ask? Like a gallon a minute. It was pouring in from the dorad boxes and about four other places every time the bow sliced through the waves. The seastate wasn’t terrible but we also weren’t used to a boat that buried the bow so much. Our Whitby didn’t sail to wind this way. This boat was made to slice through in such a different way. Peter also never had these issues on the passage from Antigua to the VI because it was all downwind. We had done a small shakedown but nothing offshore in this direction. Brig was getting frustrated with having to stay strapped to me in our Lillebaby carrier and Peter determined there was no temporary fix he could do while under way that would keep that much water out of our forward cabin for the next 2 and a half days. At that moment he decided it was better for us and for the boat to turn back, make some repairs and wait for the next weather window. *sigh*

No big deal except for now our insurance wouldn’t cover us after July 1 in a named storm if we stayed “inside the box” instead of getting down to the lower latitudes. I immediately got a rider for our policy allowing us to be covered for another month in USVI – another unexpected added expense – and Peter began making repairs. He serviced the frozen dorad scoops so they could be removed and the covers installed closing them off. He recaulked our forward hatch at the base and along the top of the glass. He recaulked the windlass controls. He recaulked the staysail connection to the deck. He pulled up and rebed our two forward cleats, both of which ended up badly needing new bolts. And lastly he pulled up, serviced and rebed the windlass!! That was a NIGHTMARE job but really needed to be done. All I can say is thank goodness my brother Brandon is still here because he’s helped Peter every step of the way, to make this boat safe for all of us, as quickly as possible.

Our weather window is finally here. This time Peter doesn’t want Brig and I to go. Instead, he insists that we fly down to Grenada and wait for him there. It should only take him 2.5-3 days and then he won’t have to worry about us if the waves are miserable. My brother is still here with us and will do the passage too. Our friend Mike from Three Sheets Sailing is also going to go along so Peter can actually get a little sleep and take real shifts. My brother will be able to help a little but he’s never done anything like this before so entrusting him with the responsibility of being on watch when he doesn’t know anything about navigation or sailing isn’t really fair to him. I fly out in two days with Brig. It will be a very long day with one ferry and four connecting flights to hop down island but the good news is we will get to spend the weekend with our friends from the Sunkissed Soeters!! Brig will have so much fun with Darcy and Luuck’s boys, Stormer and Rio and it’ll be good for me too.

I get it… I understand Peter just wants to keep us safe. It’s a new-to-us boat and he wants to gain a little faith in our boat first before taking his baby out to sea in it. I also know it would be very difficult to entertain a one-year-old on a passage to wind. The first attempt a few weeks ago was challenging and that was just a couple of hours worth. Going below to use the head and to change Brig’s diaper just one time was very tiring. But part of me also feels like i’m failing at “cruising with kids” if I can’t even do a little 3 day passage with my baby. SO many other families take their babies on passages longer than this all the time so why can’t I? I know I shouldn’t feel that way and that I’m not failing and that we just need to do what is right for our family. But it’s hard to not think it. Oh well. It doesn’t even matter anymore. It’s another extra expense for the plane ticket but it’s just money right? Peter will just work a little more.

By Monday we should be all settled back on our boat together as a family in a Grenada. I can’t wait. ❤️

First Beach Day

While my dad and Stacy were here, we decided to take Brig down to the beach just outside their condo at Long Bay. It was an absolutely gorgeous day with a perfect, picturesque view all around us. A nice big palm tree cast a perfect shadow on the sand with lots of space to keep us out of the hot sun.  His little skin is so fragile so we are careful to keep him shaded if we do have to go into the sun with him.

I set up the little shade tent that dad and Stacy got for us and gave it a whirl. It sets up in an instant, provides plenty of shade and is big enough for me to sit in there with him. The only bummer part about it was that the wind had started to pick up a little and sand was blowing every which way. I was worried about sand getting in Brig’s eyes so we didn’t stay down at the beach very long but it was still fun for his first time!

While we sat up in the shade, we watched Nana and Grandma Stacy float around in the crystal blue water. Peter had to work that day so we decided to wait for daddy before letting Brig go in the ocean for the first time ;) Even though I didn’t go swimming, I still loved every second of being down by the water. Next time, Brig and I will be out there too! Before I know it, he’ll be a little fish just like his daddy so I wasn’t too bummed about missing out on the cool waves.

Sometimes I look at the pictures I take here in BVI and I can’t believe how gorgeous it all is.  We’re so lucky to be able to call this place home…